he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
