I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
