none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
