it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
