And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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