I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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