But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
