I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
