I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
