i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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