I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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