I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My vagina just recognized that song.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
