But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
