My pussy is not your playground.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
