My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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