I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
