yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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