It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
