Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
