Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
