where does the pee come out of this thing
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
