I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
