I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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