Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
someone owes me an orgasm
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
