You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
