I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
