Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
