He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
