I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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