'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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