I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
