wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
