i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
