put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
