people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Randomize
