super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
whose parrot is this?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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