I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
