I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
