So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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