I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
