yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
