I wish I could punch you in the face.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
