i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
