I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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