He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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