he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
