That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
