ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
