they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
