just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
